I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
