How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize