I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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