i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
