I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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