yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
