I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize