Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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