I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
