Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
