Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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