she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
