So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
wow bdsm is so cute
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
