If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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