Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
