Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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