ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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