I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
