My room smells like vodka and shame
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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