yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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