So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
