there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
