thus making me awesome and them whores
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
