i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
