Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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