im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
