operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
