I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
