I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
