he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
