I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
