remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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