it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
