i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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