Will you blow on my dice?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
