2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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