she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Your penis caused this!
You left your phone here
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