i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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