after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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