there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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