how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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