yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize