gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
