We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
