If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
