I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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