I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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