Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize