Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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