Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
