"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
