bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
