if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
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Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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