The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
