so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
