Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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