accomplished twins. life is a go
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
