Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Randomize
