I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize