I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
