I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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