Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
