Plan B is the new Plan A
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
