he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
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I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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