he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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